I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
