I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
