What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
