Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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