Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
