'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
