oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
