Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
