problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
