Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
dude. I can hear the air.
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