i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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