scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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