Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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