yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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