We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize