It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
