U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
is that a dick in a sweater?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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