Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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