His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
