You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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