All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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