hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
