My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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