there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
