you're like a bully in the Christmas story
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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