dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think I just sharted jello shots
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