hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
