Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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