in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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