Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
