He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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