C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
