Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
