She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
