i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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