We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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