Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
