I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
