I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
