***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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