I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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