like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I look better un-naked...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
