Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Porn is love you can see.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
