Jerry, you need to find god
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
