he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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