She said her name was "party"
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
