I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
