That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
