He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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