So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
