we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
