I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
