I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
