Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
