so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
