She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
