Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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