My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
