My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
